Anger: A Trait Of The Weak?


We all, as humans are susceptible to this emotion called Anger. The degrees vary in all of us, but we all do feel anger. I think what differentiates the strong ones from the weak ones is the way they channel it or vent it and the way they justify it after they have displayed their anger in an abusive way. Some might actually feel sorry and take responsibility for their actions no matter what, others find circumstances and people to blame their so-called “reaction” on.

A friend once told me that people are fooling you if they told you that they lost “control” of themselves during anger. He said there is no such thing. What do you think? He went on to add that people might portray such a behavior to be excused for acting badly, but the truth is that they are aware of what they do. Some people might shot and swear, some may throw things, some might even hurt other people and in all of this if you take notice they are being selective.

Regardless of how people think of anger and its display, one thing is certain to me. Until the person exhibiting anger violently (in any form) does not take responsibility for his/her actions without blaming people or circumstances will never change for the better. He/She is doing a disservice to self by not accepting action and behavior that is one hundred percent his/her own.

Like I said before, we all our vulnerable to this emotion. What do you do when overcome by anger? Are you aware of the times you feel angered? How do you vent/channel it?

When I feel angered, I am actually very quiet, because I have seen first hand how people can hurt and ruin everything when overcome by anger. It is false if people say they cannot do anything about it, we all can! we can train ourselves to restrain control, practice self-control.

I usually close my eyes, try to think of all good things I have going for me, forgive the person (I posted something related last week on For-give-ness) that has wronged me and channel my hurt/frustration by engaging in either deep breathing or an activity such as cleaning or organizing or listening to music or going for a walk or run.

Before I leave, is it possible to overcome anger altogether? I think YES, what do you think? I had a related post: It’s all small stuff I think that one of the causes of anger is that some people think all the time or all people think sometimes that their life is one big emergency.

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About One Change At A Time

Me - I just want to spread goodness and happiness... one good deed at a time.
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2 Responses to Anger: A Trait Of The Weak?

  1. Pingback: Starting With a Humble Perspective « Hanna Wilbur's

  2. Hanna says:

    I am embarrassed to say that I still am training my self to channel my anger wisely. But, I’m proud that since I got married and have a baby, my temper has been really trained and now am much-much more patient than when I was a teenager, at least :P.

    Yes, just like you when I’m angry, I just be silent. I can’t think of any other simple tips for people who want to train their temper than ‘be silent’.

    I know a similar saying of the prophet saying–I’m paraphrasing–‘say something good or keep silent’ :).
    My biggest challenge now is really controlling my whole self. I’ve been trying to fast for a few days but keep failing miserably :(. Finally today I did one whole day without eating from dawn till the sun sets… yay ^_^!
    One important part about doing shaum (fasting) is that you aren’t allowed to get angry. It’s not that it will break the fast, but it will lower the quality of fasting.
    There is this one known story of a lady who couldn’t control her anger while she was fasting. Then the prophet told her to drink and eat. The woman asked, how could she eat and drink while she was fasting at the time? Then the prophet answered something that indicated control of temper as a quality in fasting.

    Another thing where anger can be easily triggered is when someone has children. Babies and children don’t understand about the world and could easily make someone angry with their actions if we don’t control ourself and understand that they don’t know any better yet. Being angry won’t teach kids anything except that ‘it is okay to lose control’ (which is not a good thing to give an example of).

    This reminds me of an example about being patient with babies. One time the prophet was holding a baby. Then the baby peed on him. The mother got angry and quickly took the baby out of his hands. The prophet said that the pee can be easily cleaned, but what can clean the blackened heart of the baby because of the mother’s ill treatment?

    So, yeah… anger is the trait of the weak :'(. Thanks for this.

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