Bottling emotions and negative energy is never a good thing, but that’s all I knew for the longest time because I couldn’t voice my feelings. Some of you may relate to this and may be well aware of the effects bottling emotions has on one’s physical, mental and emotional state. I just didn’t know how to channel those emotions or negative energy and it kept imploding. My healing journey began when I hit rock bottom. I realized the only way I could break free of this negative cycle and get out of this downward spiral was by healing, healing myself by accepting and loving who I was. I started meditating, exercising regularly and reflecting. Along my self-healing journey I learned not only how to channel negative emotions and energy but also to effectively and lovingly assert myself and communicate with loved ones at home and at work. Easier said than done! How exactly does one channel that negativity and prevent damage to their mental, emotional and physical well-being? It definitely took me a lot of practice, in fact it is an on-going process. Here are some techniques I find extremely useful:
- Deep, slow breaths or meditation – this is a great way to prevent further damage to yourself, the other person and/or the situation. When you take a few deep breaths, it calms your nervous system down a bit and you’re able to think more rationally therefore preventing a rash, impulsive reaction. It prevents the system from getting in to a state of stress/panic which results in the body releasing cortisol. Taking time to cool off helps getting to a better more thought out perspective about the situation or person than reacting on an impulse thereby continuing to engage in the negativity. Meditation is a great way to bring our attention back on what’s real, what’s important.
2. Remove yourself physically/take a time-out, if possible from the environment/situation for the time being (or permanently) so that you can think clearly and be at peace with yourself, the other person and/or the situation.
3. Go for a walk/run,exercise, be outside, surround yourself with nature, breathe fresh air – walking or exercising releases endorphins; Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body. Or may be even practice something creative such as painting or dancing or singing or listening to music, I find music very therapeutic.
4. Gratitude – I cannot stress enough on the benefits of being thankful for the people and things we have in life. When we take a moment to thank the universe for everything we have and everything we are in life, it not only puts a positive spin on our lives, but also reminds us to appreciate what we have and not take anything for granted. Have you ever thought of how many of us take our breath for granted? I used to, until I started giving thanks for the things I have in my life.
5. BFF – Be around Friends and/or Family. Friends and family can be a great support system and their presence can also have a very positive effect on us. Surround yourself with positive, kind and happy people.
6. Attitude – We must always remember that our attitude in any given moment greatly impacts how we feel in that moment and in future moments. There are a lot of people out there who are fighting bigger battles than you or I and are having to deal with worse situations than we can imagine, when we think that our problems are the worst we should take a step outside of ourselves and take a look around, do a little reality check. We know life is not always tulips and dark chocolate… sometimes it’s about leaky roofs and lost friendships. You put a piece of tape on the roof, it still leaks, you seal the roof, it still leaks, you don’t give up, you come up with new ways to solve the problem… in some situations, you don’t give up, you fall, you get up and you try again. But in some situations, you have to let go. After decades of friendship, if one day a friend decides to end it all without giving you a reason or explanation, you reach out and try to understand why and probably also attempt to fix it, but relationships are like a car, all the wheels have to be moving in the same direction for the car to move, it requires constant steering to keep it on track. When all the elements are not in sync and not working with each other but in fact against each other, the car won’t move even though a lot of effort will be spent and that can be draining. Sometimes, you have to let it go and make peace with what happened.
7. Open and Positive Communication – After having taken the time to really think about things objectively and rationally, it may even help talking with the other person (if there is another person in the equation) about the things that bother you. However, it should come from a loving place and free of accusations. It should be about how you feel, this way the other person will not feel attacked and will not get defensive. There are a lot of resources online on how to communicate in arguments, fights etc..